What We’re About

The Hot Young Widows Club exists to provide comfort and support to people who have lost their significant others: husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, and partners. The Hot Young Widows Club is not a replacement for therapy or professional guidance. It is simply an online support group meant to encourage and inspire.

We use an inclusive definition of the word “widow” to mean someone who lost their romantic love partner to death (e.g., you don’t have to have been married). We do this because we believe we can all learn from and support one another, even if our relationship situations differ. If it bothers you that a person in the group was never married to their person? This might not be the group for you.

This group is limited to people who shared a romantic bond with their person (e.g., this is not the group for people who lost a child or a sibling or a friend). The group as a whole has no political or religious affiliation and welcomes people from all walks of life. Your religious and political associations form your viewpoints, but this is not a place for those viewpoints.

Group membership and participation will always ebb and flow. Welcome new people like you wanted to be welcomed when you joined.

Lastly, when you join the club, you agree to operate according to the following policies. If you don’t abide by these policies, you can be removed from the group at any time. And we really really hate when we have to do that.

HYWC Policies

  1. Be nice or leave. If you insult someone or make them feel unwelcome or unsafe, you will be removed from the group.

  2. Assume good intent. Read all comments in a kind tone of voice and assume the commenter is coming from a good place. Comment wars have never solved a single thing, ever.

  3. Don’t hurt people. Remember that hurt people tend to hurt other people (and then don’t do it).

  4. Don’t compare. None of us have it “better” or “worse” than the other. Comparing our grief is a useless exercise that does nothing but rob us of empathy for one another and compassion for ourselves.

  5. Agree to disagree. We know it’s impossible to fully understand the scope of our experience through a few Facebook posts, so we give each other grace and the benefit of the doubt. If we don’t like someone? We exercise our right to just scrollllll right on by their posts. When we really don’t like someone? We just hide their posts so we don’t have to see them. That was easy!

  6. Share in confidence. We trust that the things shared in this group are done so in confidence and should be treated as confidential. We keep people’s stories in our hearts but don’t let them leave this group. If you break this trust, you will be removed from the group immediately.

  7. We don’t “should” on one another. No judgment. We widows already have plenty of people telling us what we should or shouldn’t do. Unless someone specifically asks for advice, our default is always to simply be a supportive listener.

  8. No soliciting. We want this to be a safe space where everyone can come to share their feelings without feeling pressure of any kind. Compassion in any and all forms is welcome, but soliciting (trying to sell something or asking for goods or money) is not allowed. Do it, and you’ll be removed from the group.

There. Those are pretty easy-to-follow policies, right? Nothing too complicated.

Will we all agree 100% of the time? Of course not! Are we all going to be best friends? Statistically, that seems unlikely. We come together in this group because of our common loss — and the common need to try our best to make this experience easier for one another. We can love and support each other even if we don’t like each other.

And remember: None of us are experts at this. We’re all just damaged humans doing our best.


Moe and Nora